Moving internationally has definitely given me a wakeup call about friendships. Ironically, I only find time to speak to or email my good friends every few months (don’t judge me, I am working on it). This is mainly because they are always there for me and the little things in life seem to trump what is really important. I might flick them a fb like or a message here and there but that’s not really a friendship is it?
I have now moved internationally twice. I did a quick trip back home between my first and second big international move. I found time for everyone but
one really good friend. This friend is incredibly relaxed and is happy to go with the flow so we never scheduled anything in advance which was a mistake. Somehow time slipped away and before I knew it I was getting back on that fifteen-hour flight to start my new life without spending a moment with her. I felt bad but I was also scared and thinking about a lot of other things!
About a month after arriving I sent her a long email asking how she was, how life was, how her family was and filling her in on some of the things I was doing. There was stony silence for about two months which I found weird so I hit her back with a ‘Hello?’.
After a week I got an email back, she filled me in on what was happening but also wanted to let me know that I had really hurt her feelings not finding a moment to say hi. I had been so wrapped up in my own chaos that I didn’t even consider how she was feeling for a second or the fact that she might have needed me. I felt awful, how did I not see this coming? How did I not make time for one of the most important people in my life, a rock of a friend who has always and will always be there for me?
“I had really hurt her feelings”
I called her. We had an amazing conversation, I apologised but being the super star that she is, she had already forgiven me.
One of the most important lessons I am learning after being away for about two years, is that life presents us with an amazing gift, lifelong friends. Funnily enough, these friends are the people who we will truly spend our entire lives with. Partners will come and go, the good ones will be around from when you meet them to the end (fingers crossed), your parents are there from the beginning through most of if (fingers crossed) but your friends will travel through this life with you. They know you inside and out, they give you the hard advice when you need it and go soft on you when you are falling apart. They are the people who help you pic up the pieces and start again when it seems impossible. These are the people who support your crazy ideas knowing that you have a 1% chance of success but they believe in you so much that they are willing to bet on that 1%.
“She had already forgiven me.”
So for all of us that are traveling internationally or have friends who have moved away, make time for them. I know life is crazy busy. I know you are facing more challenges than you have ever anticipated but for your friend’s sanity and your own, remember to stop and consider the things you cherish most in life and give those special friends a call. They need you just as much as you need themCredits: jorge-flores-
Credits: Jorge Flores – https://unsplash.com/@j6flores